How to disagree with your team (without looking like a jerk)

As CEO of Red Hat, Jim Whitehurst was the company’s "head debater". He enjoyed candid discussions on important topics and encouraged others to do the same.

But when he got to IBM, things were different.

• “I’d walk into a meeting at IBM … and everybody tried to say, ‘OK, what kind of mood is he in?’ And then it’s like they wanted to structure things around what I wanted to hear.”

To get people talking, Whitehurst did something (very) unconventional. He would argue the opposite side of what he believed.

Once his team realized what he was doing, they started opening up and sharing more honest, candid opinions.

But that still wasn’t enough.

He partnered with his second-in-command and made a deliberate effort to model the kind of open debate they expected from the team.

When IBM employees saw two leaders engage in a heated exchange yet leave the room as friends, they understood that respectful disagreements were not just encouraged, they were expected.

Here's the takeaway for you:

Elite leaders like Whitehurst don't squash dissent. They seek it.

• Jeff Bezos calls it "truth telling"
• Reed Hastings calls it "Farming for dissent"
• Brad Jacobs calls it "Exploring conflicting opinions"

Here's how Reed Hastings puts it:

• "It’s disloyal to Netflix if you disagree with an idea and do not express that disagreement. By withholding your opinion, you are implicitly choosing not to help the company.”

Here's Brad Jacobs:

• "I've come to identify 3 ingredients that are essential to running powerhouse meetings: Right attendees, a crowdsourced agenda and an atmosphere where everyone can respectfully disagree."

Here's Andy Jassy of Amazon:

• "We don’t just empower people to challenge one another, we obligate them to do so if they disagree."

How do you create an environment where people aren't afraid to voice what they're thinking?

Before making big decisions, invite your team to share their disagreements. Let them know you’re intentionally looking for opposing perspectives.

Use questions as a "tool" to encourage healthy debate. Here are some good ones:

• “What's the downside to this approach?”

• “What's a different perspective other than mine?”
• “Can someone please poke holes in my argument?” "What would you do if you were in my place?"
• "What are we missing?"

But asking questions is only half the battle. The other half is learning to respond and not react to dissent.

For example if your team shares something you oppose, focus on truly listening to them first. Get to the heart of the matter by asking follow-up questions like, “Tell me more” or “Help me understand your perspective better”.

Here's one of my favorite questions: “What data would change your mind?”

Asking questions and listening to your team will give them the confidence to open up, and share their opinions freely and without fear.

Don't back down when things get a little heated. Your goal is to fight the idea, not the person.

If you want to become the “head debater” like Whitehurst and encourage candor, not compliance on your team. I’ve made a template to help you model healthy dissent. Reply “template” and I’ll send it your way.

Remember you hired your team for their ideas, you didn’t hire them to blindly follow yours.

Keep leading.

P.S: Most leaders say they want candor but few know how to create it. I’ve built a meeting template that helps you model dissent. Reply “template” and I’ll send it your way.